Our behavior most of the time is driven automatically. We react under the different stimulus, but those responses are mostly commanded by deeply assumptions about ourselves and the world. Thoughts and feelings were learned when we started interacting with our parents, the world and ourselves. We evolved in our personality from our experiences. Joy, pain, frustration, anger, peace, love, fear, and so on.
One of the first steps in almost any path of self-growing is to start questioning your own learned patterns. When you realized that might be other ways to think and feel, you start freeing yourself from yourself.
Same thing, with society. We learned to respond to what is expected of us, in a culture, a social group, a company or a family. We as social animals, we read the cues and follow through. There are so many rewards in recognition and acceptance, and so much pain in rejection apparently.
We don’t question the systems we live in or the social clues, because it has a cost. Maybe we will be criticised or ignored, or they will laugh at us. However, is by questioning our motivations, is when we find what we really want and what makes us feel realized and fulfilled. The first step again is de-learning and questioning what we think we want.
It is hard. It takes moving out or comfort zone, and take a dive into the unknowing. But maybe is worth it. Maybe we really find our true self and our inner motivation.